london baby

i took maybe 7 pictures in London, i like these three (especially together). i'm not telling what they are.

The riddle of steel....and other assorted crap

It appears that a whopping 4 people voted to name my bike, and indication of how many readers there are not named my mom. El guapo was the favorite, it got 2 votes. It goes well with the fact that I am in Spain, and that bike truly is a handsome devil. I also got two write-in suggestions "Conan the bikebarian" and the "taint bruiser". Taint bruiser sounds like an enemy, not like my best friend...so I have to pass on it despite the catchy ring. The Conan one is good, but i think maybe Conan already has some richer material. I forgot a rather obvious option suggested by Thulsa Doom....the riddle of steel. Conan the barbarian is full of awesome manly dialogue, e.g. swordmaster- " what is the best thing in life?" Conan - "to crush your enemies, drive them before you and hear the lamentation of their women." I'm actually surprised that Surly does not make a bike called the riddle of steel. All of the Surly frames are steel, in fact Surly is a steel cult, as are many of the custom craft builders. Steel is a rebellion against weight-weenie roadies in their neon lycra silly suits, it's old school, strong and proletariat. It's union-made PBR. When Conan is a boy, his dad, a blacksmith, makes a sweet flippin' sword (not a carbon fiber sword, a STEEL sword) and tells Conan that he must learn the riddle of steel. Shortly afterward, Thulsa Doom rolls in on his Harley and lops everyones heads off, burns the women and rapes the houses. Conan lives and is made a slave otherwise the movie would only be about 6 minutes. Later the adult Conan is beaten to a fleshy oozing pulp and has this chat with Thulsa Doom:

Thulsa: You killed my snake! Forgrim is beside himself with grief. He raised that snake from infancy.

Conan: You killed my mother! You killed my father! You killed my people!

Thulsa: Ah! Probably in my younger days, no doubt. In my quest for the riddle of steel.

Conan: The (gasp) riddle (gasp) of steel?

Thulsa: (emphatically)Yes! You know of it boy! Do you wish to know the answer? It’s the least I can do to tell you before I kill you. Steel is not strong. Flesh is stronger! What is the blade compared to the hand which wields it?"

...at this point Thulsa doom beckons to some floppy-necked drugged out hippy chick who hurls herself from a balcony(gasp) . Then, proving his point...he says (emphatically) "THAT is strength boy!" I don't know if he's right...it's more like an example of what religion can do to a brain. I imagine the dialogue there wouldn't have been as poignant if he said (emphatically) "THAT is how dumb you are if you join my snake cult, boy!" So there ya go...the riddle of steel now you know it and you didn't even get your ass kicked.

Another name option is Cyrus. CAN YOU DIG IT SUCKAS!!!! Or maybe you're all turning fag-got! Cyrus is the gang leader from "The Warriors" who gets assassinated by the Riffs who blame it on the warriors, who need to get home to Coney and could easily, EASILY , do so if they just took off their colors. But they don't want to act like faggots or anything so they decide to wear their colors and fight everybody instead, it's kind of like US foreign policy. One strange thing is the resemblance of Cyrus to Thulsa Doom, both physically and in their Cicero-crushing, mad oratory skills. There was actually gang warfare in the theatres when this movie was released....so you know it's good.










Thulsa Doom, Cyrus....great orators, cult leaders, misunderstood tragic heros. One was a part-time snake, one got popped early in the film.

So what do you think, el Guapo, The Riddle of Steel, or Cyrus?









How's this for a segeue (spelling? what is the deal with French vowel abuse? And furthermore, what is the deal with full grown japanese girls and mickey mouse shirts, watches, hats, backpacks, etc.?)...











Obama- "Can you count SUCKAS!!!! The future is ours, if you can count!!" Websearch this, you won't be dissapointed. The first debate is all over the TV here. but more importantly... McCain has 13 cars, Obama has one hybrid. Score 13 for Cyrus, suckas. And I've seen pictures of Barack on a bike. 13 more for Cyrus! Thats 26-0 if you can count.

Finally, this appeared on another blog that I read sometimes. I have to admire the way he is taking this D-bag senator to task. I once had a guy turn right in front of me forcing me to slam on my brakes and just barely avoid hitting him. Then I confronted him in a parking lot. I told him he was a fucking asswipe and he almost hit me. He told me I shouldn't be riding on the right of the lane (not true, that is the legal position when not changing lanes, preparing for a turn, or avoiding a hazard). I said some other adrenaline-gibberish, after which he said "leave me alone" and drove off, completey unconcerned about any problem I might have. He was right, what was I going to do, punch him, or dent his car? Then I get arrested, sweet, good solution. I called the cops with his license and a reckless driving complaint, I'm sure LV metro was very concerned too. "Um yeah, we've got our hands full harassing homosexuals and black people, we'll advise a squad car to keep an eye out". It was a demonstration of the fuedal system of the road, bike serfs and SUV barons. But anyway, this time the D-bag is a mercedes senator, and I reckon he isn't enjoying the attention the following incident is attracting. Turns out that the internet is not only a source of bad information and porn, but is also empowering:

September 17, 2008

Senator Jeff Klein
Legislative Office Building
Room 313
Albany, New York 12247

Dear Senator Klein,

RE: My request, as a member of the board of Transportation Alternatives, to meet with you to discuss transportation policy as it relates to bicycle safety, carbon emissions, the cultivation of New York City quality of life, breathable air, and traffic congestion.

Though you may not know my name, you may recall that you and I met today under rather unpleasant circumstances on New York City’s Broadway, just north of City Hall. You were driving your black Mercedes. I was riding a small folding bicycle and wearing a purple helmet.

To refresh your memory:

Traffic was moving rather slowly and you were heading in the downtown direction, as was I. You were in the far left lane and I was riding on the curbside of that lane, near your rear passenger door. Suddenly, you began to veer your Mercedes to the left, potentially crushing me between your car and the cars parked on the side of the road.

With nowhere to go to get out of your way, and to avoid serious injury or death, in desperation, I chose to knock on your window to let you know that I was there and that you should avoid veering further in my direction.

At this point, you brought your vehicle to an abrupt halt, not to avoid hitting me, but because you apparently needed to communicate something to me. You rolled down your window and said, “Get your hands off my car, you fucking asshole.”

I said, “You were veering into me and going to crush me.”

You said, “You better not touch other people’s cars. You might find that touching other people’s cars is more dangerous than traffic.”

This gave me the impression that you were threatening me.

I said, “I think my life is more precious than your car.”

You said, “I didn’t see you.”

I said, “If you’re driving a car, it’s your responsibility to see what’s in road space before you veer into it. That’s what your driver side mirror is for.”

You said, “I looked in my mirror.”

I said, “You should also turn and look over your shoulder since you know there could be a bicyclist.”

You said, “Yeah. Well, maybe you should watch where you’re going.”

I said, “Where was I supposed to go? I was there. And you were veering into me.”

I was about to remind you that, in the past week, two cyclists have been killed by automobiles in New York City, but you made a gesture which implied you considered this conversation a waste of time and drove off. That is when I saw that your car had special license plates proclaiming your membership of the New York State Senate.

A red light stopped you at the next intersection. I rode alongside you and, more cautiously, tapped again on your window. You rolled it down. I could tell by your face that you weren’t happy to be talking again to this particular New York State citizen, on whose behalf you govern.

I asked you, “What is your name, Senator?”

You said, “Senator Jeff Klein.” This is how I know it was you.

Now, the thing is, Senator, I don’t particularly call you to task for calling me a fucking asshole. If the roles had been reversed, and I had a big black Mercedes and you came up in a purple helmet, knocking on my window, and I didn’t realize I was on the verge of crushing your legs, I might have called you a fucking asshole, too.

I’d like to point out, however, that, as mad as you were about my touching your car window with my hand, you could double or triple that strength of emotion when it comes to how frightening it is to be on the other side of the Mercedes driving wheel, especially when that particular Mercedes is coming toward you.

Weigh it up: “he might scratch my black Mercedes” against “he might cause my little girl to be left fatherless.”

Weigh it up again: One guy is riding a bike that weighs a grand total of 22 pounds and has a relatively small potential to harm others. The other guy is in charge of a powerful machine that weighs a couple of tons. Which person has the greater responsibility to watch out for the care and welfare of people who may get in their path, by their own fault or not?

As a State Senator, I’m sure you especially feel the weight of the obligation to look out for the welfare of others, no?

Again, this is not to say you did not act like many other humans in the same situation. But it is to say that transportation policy in New York City currently falls way too short of making sure that unintended confrontations like ours–and worse ones that end in fatalities–don’t occur.

Proper policy, which provided ubiquitous segregated bike lanes or which limited traffic congestion, could reduce such incidents without having to depend on drivers of black Mercedes, for example, remembering to look in their driver side mirror or over their shoulders.

It is for this reason that I hope you will honor my request to visit your office, along with Transportation Alternatives Executive Director Paul Steely White, to ask you to reconsider your current platforms on transportation and traffic congestion in New York City.

As you know, the United States’ dependence of foreign oil contributes significantly to our current economic crisis and is a matter of national security. Furthermore, the planet’s future ability to support human life is in peril because of global warming caused, in large measure, by the overuse of the same foreign oil.

At the same time, countless studies show that making the streets of New York and other cities safer and more convenient for bicyclists and pedestrians would reduce automobile use, dependence on foreign oil, carbon emissions, and traffic congestion while contributing to breathable air and livable streets, improved retail business, and the physical health of New Yorkers.

Yet, until now, your platform has presented obstacles to the adaptations that might bring these benefits to New York City. Not only did you oppose congestion pricing, a measure intended to decrease vehicular traffic, but you proposed eliminating the tolls on bridges and tunnels into Manhattan on holidays, which would bring more traffic into the City and further encourage automobile use, just when it should be decreased.

I hope you’ll consider that these policies are out of step with the current times. I hope, too, seeing, in the case of our confrontation, the result of your policies when it comes to impact on personal lives, in general, and the safety of bikers, in particular, might also give you cause to reconsider your position.

Policies that make New York City safe for bicyclists and pedestrians–the people who live on the streets as opposed to the people who just drive through them–is best, both for our citizens and the planet.

I look forward to hearing from you regarding my request to meet in person to discuss these issues.

Yours sincerely,

Colin Beavan
aka No Impact Man,
Board Member, Transportation Alternatives

Readers, if you would like to support my request to meet with Senator Klein or to generally register your thoughts about his confrontation with me, a telephone call is the most effective means of communication. But if you can’t call, please email.

You might also care to register your concerns with his more senior colleague, the leader of the Democrats in the State Senate, Senator Malcolm A. Smith.

editors note: i was a few days late in hearing about this and posting anything about it. In the meantime, so many people called the senator that no impact man is going to meet with him about transportation alternatives.

big bang, lavapies style

Is it just me or does an underground facility to replicate the big bang seem like a bad idea?

I'm just writing to say I'm still alive, just busy and without internet at home. After my vacation I had a trip to London for a nerd conference, and I did a talk about nerd stuff to some nerds. I stayed on with the kids from the lab for the weekend and drank proper british pints, spoke proper English, and I saw THE proper Rosetta stone among many other cool objects. I saw like half of Egypt, Greece and Rome in the British museum, but for some reason I was really impressed that I saw the authentic rosetta stone among all this stuff that the English plundered.

I'm stealing internet from a neighbor now (actually he's probably stolen all the info off my computer by now, so good deal for him). My landlord has asked the internet company to begin our service, a month ago. Classic Spanish style, that's just normal to wait a month for installation apparently.

So since the quick London trip, I have moved into Madrid, at the north end of the Lavapies neighborhood, the former Jewish district centuries ago. Now it's sort of "ethnic town" with immigrants from Africa, India, and several other parts of Asia. The bad news is now I'm a subway commuter, but the city is so much cooler than Mostoles. Plus I can get a little work done on the subway so its not totally lost time. I can find food I like! And cheap! I can buy a half pound of cumin for a freaking euro. Five minutes away is an Indian buffet, 8 euros (this is pricy compared to the states but it's practically giving shit away in Europe). I went jogging the other day to the palace, the cathedral and the Egyptian temple. And everyday I walk somewhere new and interesting. I've never had such an interesting jogging route before, or so many "old world monuments" five minutes outside my door (In fact none...ever). I live on the top floor, so theres a big terrace where I enjoy my morning & weekend "chill with coffee" time. Downstairs, so close I could spit on it, is my favorite bar in the neighborhood. It has a logo with a Tom Waits-like demon face. Actually I think its a Satyr not a demon, but its a dope bar. The tapas are a crap shoot though. I can never recognize anything they bring me, and its different every round. Once they brought me baba ganoush which I was psyched about, then they brought some mayonnaise slop with stinky fish in it. I tried a little city cycling the other day, and its really pretty chill even on the larger streets. The truth is traffic does not move very quickly so its easy to keep pace with automobiles most of the time. This despite the warnings of how dangerous it is, from all the people (like my new roomate) who have never once ridden a bike in the city. But, so far, for anything in the city it's quick enough just to walk and that way I don't have to worry about bike theft. The weather is super nice again and I've been back on the bike a little, discovering new cycling paths which take me south to the river valleys instead of north to the mountains (just for something different). One of these days I need to make a map of all the places I've ridden, with notes. I would have liked to encounter this very thing on someone's website before arriving.

Soon some pics of the new house & hood...

Becky arrives in only 7 days. I can' t believe it's been 6 months.

Heres a fun one....I live on Jesus & Mary street (Calle Jesus y Maria) and my landlord's name is Christ (Cristo). If he can heal lepers you'd think he could get the internet to work. Fraud! Charlatan!