Field trip and the Donkey Masters

Last weekend, two guys form the lab and I left on a field trip to the south of Spain and several stops along the way. We passed throuch Castilla-La Mancha twice. It is truly the Kansas of Spain, with windmills and quiltwork of crops. It's really big too, I think it might be a similar size to kansas as well. I had a frustrating time because the other guys were on a really tight schedule and I had a really hard time finishing my work in the alotted time, also my field methods just were not working out at most sites. At least i got to see the study sites that everyone is using and starting getting an understanding of the Stipa steppes of the Meditteranean, and I used my time as well as I could. We had a site in Alicante, then went over to Murcia to Carrascoy. Carrascoy is the site that everybody hates because it is hot as balls, and for some unknown reason there are swarms of flies. After dealing with that site in the afternoon we treated ourselves to a swim and a night on the beach not so far away. It was near a town called Portman (doesn't sound very Spanish) which is full of guiris. Many signs are in English and you have to ask people if they speak Spanish. Guiri is the derogatory term for the rich foreigners, mostly British but also German and American, that have been buying the entirety of the Meditteranean coast. Theres actually British pubs in some of the guiru towns that don't serve Spanish. How insulting is that? It's just so British! The beach seemed like a great idea when we got there because the weather was awesome and cool and beer tastes pretty good on the beach. but that night really hurt us because all of our gear got wet due to humid air, there were mosquitos out all night, there was a really bright moon....and finally there were helicopters flying over us all night. We had to get up at 6:30 after really not sleeping. We had two stops in Murcia, then we stayed in Castilla-La Mancha. After two sites the next day, I had to get the train to Madrid because I had an appointment with the Donkey masters.

Theres some back story: I had been waiting for two months for the police to send me a letter notifying me that it was time to come in and get fingerprinted. Naturally I started to think the letter was never sent. Of course there is no way to find out. You can call all day, nobody will answer the information line. There's no way to check your status online. I was getting antsy because I thought I only had 2 more weeks to complete this stuff. So the only option was to go to the giant high security police station and wait hours in line to ask. Andrea went as my interpreter, and she explained what we wanted to a policeman at the gate who told us to wait in line 2, the medium sized one. It took maybe 3 hours to get in. People are jerks in there, there was a chinese immigrant there who was being berated by one of the helpful customer service personnel. Apparently he thought that if he spoke faster and shouted, suddenly her spanish comprehension would improve. Luckily, when it was our turn we were called by the other guy. He informed us that we had waited in the wrong line if we wanted information. He told me I already had an appointment to get fingerprinted (news to me), so we should not have waited in the line for making appointments for getting fingerprinted. Seriously, most people have to do this: waste a day waiting in line making an appointment to be fingerprinted, waste another day in line waiting to actually be fingerprinted, the waste another half day in line to pick up your national ID card. All this horseshit occurs over about 3-4 months!!! The appointment, which I cannot choose and which is compulsory, was June 18, right in the middle of the field trip. The day after we went to the station the goddamned letter arrived with my appointment information, so the entire previous morning had been wasted on nothing. So that's why i needed to take the train home before the field trip was over...to get fingerprinted.

So i woke up at 6:00 and took the train the the police station. i was told by the Colombians to get there early, so i was there at 7:00, 2 hours before they opened. there were the three lines, each with a little sign at the beginning. One sign said Huellas (Fingerprints)and one sign said Citas (Appointments). So clearly these two are totally vague, is the fingerprints line for getting fingerprints, or for making appointments for getting fingerprints, or both? Is the appointments line for making an appointment to get fingerprinted, for existing appointments, or for making some other kind of appointment., or all three? The coppers weren't there to ask yet...besides so far they have a 100% bad information rate, so why ask them anything? So I started asking people what they were in line for and came to the logical conclusion that most available evidence points toward the Citas line. I waited in line all the way through the metal detector to the doorway where I could have been printed, when a cop asked me what I was there for, then told me I had waited in the wrong line. I was supposed to wait in the Huellas line, which I forgot to mention wraps around the block. So, a fair thing to do would be to put me at the back of the Huellas-line people that had made it past the metal detector. This would put me at the approximate point I would have been had I stood in the right line. But no, he made me leave and go to the back of that line. Finally at 1:00 I had made i through that line, and sat down to talk to the first nice person of the day who was checking my documents. One of the documents was a payment form to pay the 10 euro fee, which I had filled out. It turns out they do not accept payment there, I was supposed to have paid in my bank and had the bank stamp the form certifying that i had paid. Why? I don't know, if the high security police station is not a secure place to make a payment what is? Now I didn't really understand what I was supposed to do although she tried explaining in Spanish slowly, and in bad english (which was kind of her)....but I was told to leave and go to the bank to get proof that i paid, and come back (without waiting in a line this time!). At first I thought maybe this was something I could do at an ATM, but of course the nearby ATM was broken. But I found a branch of my bank and paid using my ATM card (have you ever heard of such a weird process, it's totally new to me). Then I had to go back, show my permission to return to the same policeman who had kicked me out...who actually looked remorseful, and go back inside. I had to bring my own passport photos (3) and give them to them. Two months ago I had already delivered 3 passport photos at another police station. I think every cop has me in their wallet so they can show their friends and family the new foreigner in spain. Why don't they just have a fucking camera, like the DMV? I don't know. Finally, i got fingerprinted, it took 5 minutes. The lady who printed me was a surley hooch who seemed to think she was having a bad day. Bad day my ass, she got paid for her 8 hours, probably got enough sleep, and had lunch. She told me I had to come back in forty days to get the card. I still don't know if they will tell me or if I just drop by and waste my day in a line to find out. At 2:00pm I got home, 8 full hours of that hellhole.

Spanish and Latino people have told me that this kind of beaurocracy is the same everywhere...that is BULLSHIT! The Spanish have mastered it and the latinos inherited it from the spanish. There is just no fucking way that Sweden, or Germany does things this way because those people are organized. Even the US is better, provided you are not coming from Mexico. Heres some tips for not being a donkey institution: 1) just put up a couple signs with decent information about what the different lines are for, it would cost almost nothing and take only 10 minutes. Because the place is full of foreigners it makes sense to have signs in Spanish, English, and Chinese. There are people walking all over the place totally confused about what is the right line. Sure the place is swamped by too many people coming in...but easily half of the clusterfuck is due to NO AVAILABLE INFORMATION ABOUT WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN YOU ARE THERE 2) If you have an information phone, answer the goddamned thing. 3) Get a camera. 4) if you charge a fee, ACCEPT PAYMENT, 5) Don't have people wait in one line to make an appointment to do something, then wait in another to actually do the thing...have one line, 6) Lay out the entire process in simple terms on a placard outside, and on a website, and 7) as soon as a person is assigned an ID number they should be able to go online and check their status. who knows if the post office lost your precious letter. How could you tell?

I'm off riding in the mountains tommorrow, something I do like about Spain that doesn't require 10 papers and 3 passport photos. Its too hot to do a mega ride, so I'm going to Rascafria, spending the night, and coming home Sunday. Might also try to climb Puerto de Navafria or Los Cotos if I feel like a tough guy.

Its been a long time since my last post, and alot has happened and alot hasn't. Two weekends ago my field trip in Sax was cancelled AGAIN and I was going to do the Rascafria, 2 puertos assault...but I discovered my rear tire was worn out. i mean fabric showing worn out. I also somehow destroyed the valves of three tubes...how does that happen? I think there is something gravely wrong with my pump. But anyways, I've just been working over every defect in my bike: new tire, new brake pads and cables, a thorough cleaning. next is the big chainring which is really worn with a couple broken teeth. Turns out that shit wears out. So instead i went to a movie in english in Madrid with Santi and his girlfriend who was visiting. Before the movie we went to an Egyptian Temple. There just happens to be one in a big park in Madrid, as if every park has a temple to Isis. Spain contributed funds to help "save" several archaeological sites when Egypt decided to trade its heritage for the Aswan High Dam, a dam which can kick the ass of Hoover dam (I think thats what they really wanted, not hydroelectricity or controllable irrigation). So Egypt gave a salvaged temple to uncle Franco. Who knew Franco was such a softie. Turns out theres also one in Amsterdam and another in New York for the same reason. It wasn't much to look at, and seemed more Roman that Egyptian (In fact its final makeover was when the Romans controlled Egypt)...but does your town have a 2000 year old Temple in the park? i didn't think so. I enjoyed it very much, its also where Madrid goes to see the sunset and get married.

The next day I took a day trip to Alcala de Henares, the town of Cervantes. I went pretty ignorant, so I do not know the significance of much of what I saw, but I just wandered around and enjoyed the old buildings like I always do. It is mostly Renaissance aged, and was/is the home of a famous humanist university. My favorite thing ended up being the door to the cathedral, which had these sponge-like sculptural elements with birds living in them. it happened to be across from an "official guiness-certified irish pub". I thought for sure they might actually serve a pint in there, but just bottles and they cost either two nuts or an ovary depending on want you got. At least it wasn't canas (half sized beers, what is the point really). The Guiness tasted great though, after a steady diet of Spanish lager. Standard issue Spanish beer isn't any worse than its American counterpart. Mahou is most common and is pretty much insipid...not bad not good, just beer. Cruzcampo is thought of as a shitty alternative, probably because it comes in plastic bottles, but I like it a little better. But they are just the cheap working class shite, the PBR and Oly of Spain. Also, Amstel light, a dutch beer and possibly the most boring in the entire world is ubiquitous for some reason. If you come to Spain and want a good beer, try Voll-Damm, Bock-Damm, or Mezquita. As i understand, Spain's wines are excellent. But I'm a wine ignoramus. it all tastes fine to me. Besides, I can't stomach all of the hooplah and ritual surrounding wine. wafting, swishing, texture, sniffing, swirling, etc. The bottom line: IS THE SHIT FOR DRINKING, OR WHAT? Ok, that was a rant that had nothing to do with Alcala or its architecture. Anyways, we just don't put much effort into our buildings anymore, its too bad because these details are really amazing. In 500 years will our modern buildings be of interest to anyone? Not to this guy, he is an enemy of wind power. He also appears to be frozen in carbon...thats what you get for being an enemy of wind power.


Its kind of funny that I always seem to be visiting some form of church. Churches and castles, chrches and castles, you'd think it would get boring but everything is so unique that it doesn't. Too bad the churches don't serve real pints of unswirled, unwafted, American IPA, or Irish stout.

spanish are used to last minute

i was supposed to do the department seminar at noon today, but the guy in charge of organizing it didn't announce it until 7:00 pm last night. i wasted 2 full days of time prepping a new talk i had never done before and the guy couldn't manage to do his 5 second job. i suggested perhaps we should postpone, and then he told me that spanish people are used to last minute things because everything is last minute. what a load of shit. so anyways i cancelled it. i do not need to stand in a room by myself and tell myself about my research interests . im often unsure how to act in these situations. i think being visibly angry invokes a defense response, and it causes people to fail to see when they have fucked up. not being angry invokes remorse in other people, except for the 5-10% who just don't give a shit. i bottled up all of my anger and played nice guy...i dont know if it was the right strategy, but i think so. next time im just going to tell him hes a dick.

In other news, because of a black and white paisley scarf, Rachel Ray (the cooking show host) and Dunkin Donuts (who oddly enough sell donuts) are Jihadists. Theres alot of great things about the USA, but sometimes we are the biggest bunch of ignorant, bigoted assholes in the universe. i can't believe this is my country sometimes.

In still other news, when is bitchface clinton going to understand that she lost. i think she must be a jihadist and we should boycott donuts and scarves.

wow, i havent posted anything in two weeks and all i can think of to say is totally angry and negative. heres something positive: i rode a century on sunday, i think (the mileage is approximate). i was all geared up to do a 2 day ride from madrid to rascafria via puerto de morcuera, then back the next day via puerto de canencia. theres a handy dandy hostel in rascafria, so i could do this ride without loading my bike with camping gear. the weather reports are simultaneously liberal and conservative and supportive of the palestinian jihad. they will forecast 90+ precip probabilities (when, for example ,weather channel says 60%), but will not hazard a guess as to how much rain might fall or when in the day it might fall. so i killed my ride plan for saturday and what do you know...the entire morning of saturday was beautiful. plenty of time for me to have ridden to rascafria. so sunday rolled around and i was so itchy for a ride i just went out and rode 165 km. i did my usual start/finish in casa de campo and used the awesome bike only route to colmenar viejo. then i took a new route to guadalix de sierra, bustarviejo, miraflores, soto del real, and back down to casa de campo in south madrid. It was raining on and off all day but it felt really good because it was a day without ever being too warm and NO SUNSCREEN! I think I am half vampire because when the sun is out, my energy just drops exponentially. the perfect days are like sunday, when it is on the verge of raining but not really raining. yes there were times when it rained, and my bike did get covered in filth after just having cleaned everything the day before, but it was a perfect day. i maintained a pretty good energy level all day except for my near-bonk experience as i was approaching bustarviejo. it was a surprise climb (turns out my map kind of sucks if you are not driving a car), and i was going to eat lunch number 3 in the next town....mistake! always eat before you are hungry, and before the jihad. After I had eaten all of my food, homemade falafel (jihad!!!), i stopped in a gas station and got a can of pringles, an ice cream bar, and some chocolate filled cookies and a jihadist scarf. but i made it home in the evening and had some gas left in the tank. i wonder if i could ride a double century without any special training. i dont mean ride it well or fast, i mean just actually complete it in one day if i allowed myself dawn to dusk, plenty of food, and managed to pace myself (hard for me). this wondering has made me want to do the rascafria ride (~190 km with 2 big climbs) in one day instead of two. i'll let you know how it goes. so, i'll see you at the jihad, don't forget your paisley scarf and bear claw.